The Cycle of Addiction

I've looked online for a good beginner's introduction to the Cycle of Addiction, which is credited as the creation of Patrick Carnes.  I've been unable to find one, so I'm writing one myself.  Note that, since this blog is about sex addiction, the following is written from that standpoint.

The Cycle of Addiction consists of four parts: preoccupation; ritualization; acting out; and shame & despair.

1. Preoccupation.  This is the beginning part of the cycle and, as its name implies, it is one where we are preoccupied with thoughts of sex, getting alone so we can surf the web, engaging in activities which the Bible terms "fornication" and "adultery," etc.  Any number of things can trigger us and cause us to become preoccupied.  2 Corinthians 10:5 says that we, as Christians, are to, "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  Yes, I know that this is "easier said than done," but it is unquestionably easiest to interrupt the Cycle of Addiction at this point than it is during the next two.

2.  Ritualization.  This stage of the cycle is unique to every individual, but it is here that we engage in pre-acting-out activities.  For example, this might involve anything from us driving to an adult bookstore to breaking out the laptop and migrating to that place in the house where we are most comfortable surfing the web and masturbating.  Or if our addiction involves another individual, it might mean emailing or calling that person to check their availability.  We can't get "here" without starting "there" (or vice versa), so think of this stage as the one in which we do whatever it is that gets us into position to do what's called "acting out."  To use a football metaphor, it would be during this stage that we would get into "formation" in anticipation of having the ball snapped and the play engaged.

3.  Acting out.  This is the obvious part.  This is where we engage ourselves completely in sinful activity, be it masturbation, fornication, adultery, whatever.  So, details do not need to be examined here.

4.  Shame & Despair (sometimes referred to as "Guilt & Shame").  It's during this stage that - after "acting out" - we sit around wallowing in our own post-masturbation (or whatever) moments being angry with ourselves, feeling lower than dirt, and wondering just how in the world we wound up spending yet another afternoon viewing pornography and masturbating when we swore to ourselves previously that we would never do so again.  Such thoughts plague our mind, affect our sense of self-worth, etc., and, more often than not, lead us right back to mental preoccupation.

I've known some people to compare the Cycle of Addiction to James 1:13-15, which observes that:

1.  Preoccupation - "[E]ach person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed."

2.  Ritualization - "Then, after desire has conceived,"

3.  Acting Out - "it gives birth to sin; and"

4.  Guilt & Shame - "sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

This is a most simplied version of this cycle.  For more information, read Out of the Shadows by Dr. Patrick Carnes.